The Politically Incorrect Show - 29/09/2000

[Music - Die Fledermaus]

Good afternoon, Kaya Oraaa & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Friday September 29, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd., the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit, & excellence, against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.

[Music up, music down!]

Overlooked in the furore surrounding the call of the primary teachers' union, the Educational Institute, to make Maori compulsory in schools, was the laudable work of one of the union's working parties in re-titling traditional Christmas carols in time for end-of-year school functions. The old titles have been purged of sexism, racism, anthropomorphism, cultural insensitivity, etc., - AND, contrary to allegations that our education system has been dumbed down, have been made more complex as well. The new titles have been released on the internet, & it is my pleasure to announce them to you now - I'll remind you of the former names after each one:

1. Move Hither The Entire Assembly Of Those Who Are Loyal In Their Belief (O Come All Ye Faithful).

2. Embellish Interior Passageways (Deck The Halls).

3. Vertically-Challenged Adolescent Percussionist (The Little Drummer Boy).

4. First Person Singular Experiencing An Hallucinatory Phenomenon Of A Natal Celebration Devoid Of Color (I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas).

5. Soundless Nocturnal Period (Silent Night).

6. Majestic Triplet Referred To In The First Person Plural (We Three Kings).

7. The Yuletide Occurrence Preceding All Others (The First Noel).

8. Precious Metal Musical Devices (Silver Bells).

9. Omnipotent Supreme Being, Elicit Respite To Ecstatic Distinguished Males (God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen).

10. Caribou With Vermillion Olfactory Appendage (Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer).

11. Allow Crystalline Formations To Descend (Let It Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow).

12. Jovial Yuletide Desired For The Second Person Singular Or Plural By The First Person Plural (We Wish You A Merry Christmas).

13. Commence Auditory Reception! The Announcing Cherubs Vocalize (Hark! The Herald Angels Sing).

14. Jim Anderton Will Be Arriving In The City In The Not-Too- Distant Future (Santa Claus Is Coming To Town).

15. Bipedal Travelling Through An Amazing Acreage During The Period Between December 21st And March 21st In The Northern Hemisphere (Walking In A Winter Wonderland).

16. Its Arrival Occurred At Twelve O'Clock During A Clement Nocturnal Period (It Came Upon A Midnight Clear).

17. Exclamatory Remark Concerning A Diminutive Municipality In Judea, Southwest Of Jerusalem (O Little Town Of Bethlehem).

(MAD LAUGHTER)

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