Lindsay Perigo
The Politically Incorrect Show - 02/11/2000
[Music - Die Fledermaus]
Good afternoon, Kaya Oraaa & welcome to the Politically Incorrect Show on the free speech network, Radio Pacific, for Thursday November 2, proudly sponsored by Neanderton Nicotine Ltd., the show that says bugger the politicians & bureaucrats & all the other bossyboot busybodies who try to run our lives with our money; that stands tall for free enterprise, achievement, profit, & excellence, against the state-worshippers in our midst; that stands above all for the most sacred thing in the universe, the liberty of the human individual.
[Music up, music down!]
There's a rather naughty New Zealand web site - thekumara.com - inspired by a VERY naughty American web site, theonion.com. On both, you will find some delightful gems of Political Incorrectness. Thekumara.com, fresh from its triumphant revelation of an impending Treaty claim by the residents of Gore, quickly got its claws stuck into the Ruth Dyson affair. Here's part of the result, headed Dyson rebukes Hillary - "He should have stayed indoors in the warm!"
Former associate ACC Minister Ruth Dyson has released a stinging public rebuke against New Zealand legend Edmund Hillary, the first man to climb Mount Everest.
Surrounded in her Beehive office by a collection of crumpled and empty Canterbury Draught cans, a stack of swappa-crates and a number of empty gin bottles, Dyson slurred through a stinging attack on the conqueror of the world's highest peak. "Hillary's attitude is an example of what's wrong with New Zealand culture today. At a time when ACC is trying to promote safety amongst athletes and sportspeople, one of our so-called heroes is a man who risked lives, both his and others', so he could climb a big rock. Pass me that cork-screw, would you?"
Hillary - along with Sherpa Tenzing Norgay - received worldwide fame, admiration, and a knighthood for climbing Mount Everest in 1953. Those plaudits matter little to Dyson however. Swigging deeply from a newly opened bottle of Cloudy Bay Chardonnay, Dyson noted that "Hillary's attitude is a direct contrast to the inclusive, non-competitive environment that we try to foster amongst young New Zealanders. The need to succeed is a creeping blight upon the soul of this country. How can we nurture and protect our children when one of our role models is a man who took such wanton delight in gambling with his life?"
"Anyone can see that a mountains are an unsafe environment for conducting leisure activities," said Dyson. "The bitter cold, the dangerous heights, and the ever-present threat of an attack by the abominable snowman. If I was Edmund's mother, I would have told him: 'Edmund! Come back inside right now!! You'll catch your death of cold!!!'
While clutching at a yard-glass with one hand, and clutching at her desk with the other, Dyson added: "You certainly wouldn't see me roaming around in the mountains - well ... unless there was some slim chance of being approached by a St Bernard bearing a keg of whiskey, that is, of course."
Dyson intends to strongly petition Finance Minister Dr Michael Cullen to reconsider Hillary's presence upon New Zealand's $5 note. "For young New Zealanders today, the $5 note is the note that they see most often. Hillary's presence on that note is nothing less than an incitement to our youth to throw themselves headfirst into danger without thought as to the consequences. Far better that we have someone on the note who would be a good role model - like me."
There's more, & it's wicked. Go check it out - thekumara.com
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